It's easy to be lead astray by a pretty face. ~Mr. Bachmann

If you're gonna put in junk, put in good junk. You might be able to buy them off that you actually know what you're talking about. ~Mrs. Savage

When in doubt, pull a Humphrey Bogart on 'em. ~Marlon Collard

The world is a wonderful place and everyone should shut up and enjoy it once in a while. ~Sarah

Keep your eye on the bull and not the shit. ~Marlon Collard

You never know how loud you are until you have to be quiet. ~Sarena

One of the best ways to find out about a person's character is to play Monopoly with them. ~Ellana

Life is full of ups and downs, but most of the time I'm going sideways. ~Leslie

My dog sometimes understands me better than my family. ~Elizabeth

The problem with being "mature-for your age" is that you still have to deal with all the normal, what-the-hell-am-I-doing-on-this-planet things, and you have to be hopelessly unpopular. ~Ann

I can remember what flavor of ice cream cone my grandmother and I shared at Disneyworld, but most of the time I can't remember what day it is. I guess it just depends on what you think is important. ~Elizabeth

Some of life is boring. But not the majority of it. ~Mrs. Landgraf

Attention is overrated since it requires human interaction, and human interaction can be the most disappointing and tedious of all of life's supposed necessities. ~Patrick

You know what would suck? If your butt grew to the point that it just, like, busted. ~Katherine

Honey, LIFE is complicated and ridiculous. ~Ann

If I hear a song I like or see something that reminds me of something, I go into doofus mode in 2 seconds. ~Randi

It looked good on the Internet! ~Karen

Personally, I think it is abnormal to not have any emotional problems. ~Randi

Does that firefighter have boobs? ~Bob

Things don't always have to be so complicated. ~Mr. Alexander

Ticks on surfboards. They just surf right up, and...suck your blood. ~Drew

First of all, reciprocal means opposite. Stupidhead. ~Tim

Fat pigs go boom as they hit the ground/Like cannonballs so heavy and round. ~Michael B.

Give us this day our fucking daily bread. ~Michael D.

There was a man from Michigan/And he did not have a van/He walked all night/Without a light/Boy, did he have a tan. ~Tim

Masochists can be frugal. ~Bob

The greatest pleasure of the day is not reading your name in the obituary column. ~Mr. Armstrong

Knowledge of the future must be--I can't imagine anything more dreadful. Knowledge of the past is horrible enough. ~Dr. Harrison

I'm not going to have a tombstone, but in the old days when I thought I would have one, I had a number of inscriptions--it would've been about the size of the Vietnam Memorial. ~Dr. Harrison

Being liked by the Brook population doesn't say much. But I mean...being liked by Rebeca Chang? Now that's something to put on a resume. ~Rebeca

Oh, and your obsessions. ~Kelly

He didn't threaten you, he just said you're dead. Your mind is dead, your heart's dead, your soul's dead, everything. ~overheard

You don't try to change something you hate. You try to change something you care about. ~Dr. Harrison

From now on, I only want to wear clothes made of whipped cream and youth. ~Sasha

The difference between NY and MA- In NY, I look out my window and see a creepy old guy with a potbelly who just stands there all day. In MA, I look out my window and see twelve creepy old wild turkeys who just stand there all day. ~Pam

Beauty is poetry when the world is sleeping. ~Cho

I think a lot of people just think "libertarian" sounds cool (which I don't, but I'm hardly normal), or think it means no one should hassle them when they're driving around smoking weed and not wearing a seatbelt. ~Nathan

Well duh, European everything is better. Cheese, beer, healthcare, shoulders. ~Kelsey

scratch:Yeah, well, to quote Kim Lance from my 10th grade biology class, "People are fucking stupid."

scratch:It's kind of like the ketchup/mustard thing this kid was telling me about in high school, except it actually makes some sense.

Ann:And while they weren't directly like, "FOOLING AROUND, you little whore?" I wasn't exactly at Denny's either, sooooo..

Wolfie:Pissing off Baptists is like one of the kewlest things to do.

Lex:Love is weird.

scratch:Compared to me, I bet the Pope's a slut.

Christopher C.:Oh, yeah, course, they all know about my crazy animal feet fetish now...

Christopher C.:What's life for if not witnessing rock bottom?

scratch:What is it about tongues? I mean, it's a really weird looking body part, and, like, they're all pretty much the same. But, in the right context...

scratch:Hell, I don't even have a vagina and it scares me.

scratch:You didn't, like, have sex with a dog and then tell Asa and not me, did you?

Ann:Insanity, so good.

Ann:No, I didn't mean it like "You should be sorry, Quinn," but more like, Posh Spice shouldn't ask Baby Spice for advice.

scratch:I think everyone has fun pretending that someone is psycho if given the opportunity.

Danny:I'm a perv, but I'm a focused perv, not a passive perv. I don't notice innuendo often. I tend to passively find the really silly things in life, like the word weird. It looks weird, it's spelled weird, and it's about the best word to describe weird you can find.

scratch:I was implying that during the awkward pause you'd both kind of go for each other and end up in a giant heap of naked flesh. And curly pubic hair. Curly.

Lex:I'm a peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenis.

Emilie:And that is why, my friends, life sucks! YAY!

scratch:How about cheese and crack whores?

Geoff:If cannibals like to eat people, do hamsters like to eat little pellets of food?

Ann:You're a fucking goober! Dude. Looking up the word goober in the DICTIONARY is the DEFINTION OF GOOBHOOD.
Ann:Check a SLANG dictionary, Ms. Dictionpants.

Christopher C.:Hey, it worked in all those stupid '80's teen movies. I just need a wig and a sister who goes there to help build the plot. Then I fall in love with a cheerleader and complicate things...with sexy results. All ending in the awarding of a special deal from the dean who finds out in the end and decides it's all ok.

Asa:Come for the crumpets, stay for the porn.

John M.:You say that like it's unusual. I always carry multiple pictures of my penis. You know...just in case.

Ann:You know how at the beginning of every book they would say "But despite BLAH BLAH BLAH MEAN THINGS ABOUT MARY ANNE THAT SHOULDN'T HAVE 'DESPITE' AS A DISCLAIMER YOU BITCHES, she's the only one of us with a steady boyfriend!"??

scratch:Okay, so when a skanky chick says "Are you looking for something? I've got it." in the middle of the night in NYC, she's probably a ho, right?

John M.:Hooray! Unconcious fellatio!

John M.:Someone needs to do A Cockwork Orange.

John M.: had to get my fix of gay zoot suit stange prancing ska musics

TraitorJim: i try not to get obsessed anymore, it really ruins your social life

Lauren: i hate it when people use my soul for dental hygeine purposes

SzpecialK: intexas do they really have nmo public school system and eat cotton candy all day long while they watch softcore pornography on cable?

Emilie: don't worry about stalking. no harm done til someone dies, i always say!

Lauren: my favorite thing is to talk about how someone's sexy is leaking all over the floor, and how there should be "caution: slippery when sexy" signs and whatnot

Lauren: right... man... the all powerful sexy must not be handled foolishly
Lauren: it's like the force
Lauren: only, sexier

Katie: If I make a random sex joke, can I get into your profile?
Katie: Better yet, can I get in there just for asking if making a sex joke is the requirement?

scratch: the conversation digressed to assless pants though

Katie: Don't poke Christ too roughly.

Asa: I don't like fun

Steven: cuz apparently, because of chris, I'm known to certain people as 'the guy that masturbates to I IV V chords ' :(

Lauren: *sings the Quinn is Hot song*

Lauren: why do you get to seduce everyone? :'(

Asa: my fraggle rocks

Lauren: cranberry jews

Ann: i hate it when God won't give me the email addresses i need

Lauren: and i was like, time to molest

Christopher D.: You're a good little citizen! You're a marshmallow peep.

Geoff: i think that since i like vaginas, whenever i wanna say YAYYYY im gonna say VAGINAAAAS instead

Christopher C.: Im off to bed, you let your own dreams roll around inside for a while. Then, when you have them cornered, and they arent looking, POUNCE and force them out of your head and into your life!

Lauren: aww steven signed off... i guess he doesn't want to hear about my penis anymore :'(

Jenn: with enough lube anything's possible

Geoff: u know whats a badass word?
Geoff: boobies
Geoff: it's my word of the week

Christopher D.: that's a BIG vibrator
Quinn: beg your pardon?
Christopher D.: hahaha...wrong window

Geoff: man, how come nobody ever accidentally talks to me abt fake, wiggling dinger dongers

Lauren: i like raping small woodland animals
Lauren: *pie
Lauren: i like pie
Lauren: damn typo


Lauren: my porn will console me

John M.: the sad thing is, I was just called a weirdo by He Who Masturbates to I IV V Chords

Lauren: if i was a guy, i'd totally want a piece of you

Lauren: mmm smart men

scratch: i'm not a penis expert or anything...

Asa: I wanna hear about female genitalia :(

scratch: they make clip on penises?

Lauren: i downloaded it
Lauren: but then i got distracted by porn or cocaine or something

Christopher D.: But that's the slippery slope interpretive dancing will take you down, straight to prostitution.

Geoff: chickens are NEVER dorky
Geoff: dont u DARE say that!
Quinn: i'm sure *some* of them are
Geoff: :-(
Geoff: ok
Geoff: :-)

Geoff: i like the word vagina
Geoff: it's just so COOL
Geoff: and im just talkin abt the word
Geoff: not even the object

John M.: I talk about penises too much

Lauren: you were one crafty fetus

Eddie: thingy and monkey
Eddie: the 2 best words ever known

Marlon: i TRUST Hollywood True tell me the Truth.

Amanda W.: who don't you stalk?

Lauren: elizabeth bathory can still bathe in my blood

John M.: well, I'm up for genocide

John M.: you can't fail with a masturbation segue

Lauren: and pizza is like cocaine quinn, you gotta understand *tears in eyes*

Geoff: meta tags are silly
Quinn: Are they?
Geoff: i dunno, i made that up


Christopher C.: You tend to make life more satirically beautiful

Lauren: (i on the other hand, know my penis can never be rivaled, but i'll let him live in his crazy world of having a bigger penis than me)

Lauren: i sooo don't fuck plants......
Lauren: anymore....

Lauren: dude i read this book, and one of the passages was like (and this was a lumberjack dude) "tonight he was going to have a real woman. he didn't need to grease up a knothole with lard, as the others were doing"

Lauren: wal-mart, for the finest in lingerie

Lauren: where the hell is the penis i ordered over the internet?

Emilie: he's evil. and not our good kind of evil.

Geoff: my fav poem
Geoff: i made up at dannys many many MANY years ago
Geoff: "roses are red, fuck you"

Lauren: absolutely lovely
Lauren: that just amuses me when applied to the penis

Steven: i heard you give the best blow jobs

scratch: there should be a law.
scratch: "stoops are not allowed to write poetry"

Dynamic Calories: Stupid people without mental problems!

Geoff: your true friends are the people who can recognize you by your vagina alone.

Geoff: i dont have a vagina :-(
Geoff: man
Geoff: is it fun having a vagina?
Geoff: because... damn

Lauren: i don't really think it's that bad. it's not like you eat fetuses.

Marlon Collard: My daughter........the Dis----E.A.S.E. QUEEN!.......

Marlon Collard: i go....welll I am noticing that you REMEMBERED to put on your pants this morning.......hahahhahahaha

Asa: time is such a bastard

scratch: those silly masturbating failures.

Asa: I wonder if ghosts can ejaculate

Moon Trism: like POCKY!!
Quinn: Yes!
Moon Trism: It's definitely Japanese Heroin.

Asa: the only solution to this is to become a bestselling author

Steven: women aren't supposed to like the word bitch

scratch: guess who's playing in rochester next weekend? hah
Quinn: Who?
scratch: john mayer! haha
scratch: you have to come up so we can go!!
scratch: haha
Quinn: hahahahahhahashahaha
scratch: deep sea of blankets!!@!

scratch: piglet porn is my favorite kind of porn

Quinn: Ch. 3 is finnnnnnnnnnished
Asa: yay
Asa: so you've made it be from Finland? *cracks up laughing*

Eddie: Quinn in "The Night Of 1000 Orgies" ;-)

John M.: I am the poster boy for not coming to terms with one's secret homosexuality

Eddie: *gives Quinn a penis cookie*

Eddie: you're nice and cute, and into porn :-p
Eddie: what more could a guy want? ;-)

Kevin: I would definitely jump your bones given half a chance.

Eddie: evil quinn hunched over her computer :-p

Eddie: kirby likes it in the ASS!

Eddie: Juicebox is slang for robot penis

Jessi: If Quinn gets to be a ghost, can I be a unicorn?

Jessi: How is it that the conversation always seems to turn to cock.


scratch: irony: anything.

scratch: i'd follow jesus if he were on twitter.

scratch: so like... yeah... they left africa and found a bunch of sexy cavemen waiting for them in europe, i guess.

Quinn: haha who do you and david bowie kill?
Dylan: An army of these guys in bear suits

Dylan: When promised oral sex, any reasonable man will consent to having a typewritter on his belly

Apollo: QUINN


Dylan: Jesus, do you know how hard it is to make a fake vagina to give to your friend on her birthday?

Ant: i figured you liked it cause of the word "crinkle"
Ant: seems like a word you'd like

Quinn: wtf is "buddy pounce"
Quinn: it has some thing called "buddy pounce"
scratch: i dunno
scratch: guess if you're buddies with a kitty.