JL: I'm actually the flamboyant member of the band, as many of you are already aware.

JL: That's right. I'm a cold-hearted creep.

JL: We've found, in our 50 years of touring and performing, people like the songs we didn't write as much as they like the songs we did write. As embittered and resentful as this has made us, we realized, it's true.
JF: Whenever you find small groups of people enjoying music you'll find They Might Be Giants.
1/31/01 San Francisco, CA

JF: If you've come for all polka all night, you've come to the wrong place. We're sorry.

JL: This song ["I Palindrome I"] is about somebody's mother. It's not my mother. It's somebody in the band, I'm not going to say who.

JL: I was on the subway recently, and I was reminded--you know those Dr. Z ads? There's a rainbow and there's this skin doctor--Dr. Zizmore, Jonathan Zizmore. Anyway, so he's got this big ad, and he keeps changing it, but in one of them he puts a picture of his whole family in there, and they're on like their ski vacation--you guys seen that one? I was looking at--I was staring at that one, cos I had like half an hour to look at it. And they're all really there in the picture except for one guy, whose--his shadow is like pointing a different way from everybody else's. They've obviously like photoshopped him in. He looks like the other people in the family so he's an actual member of the Zizmore family. But I think he's probably like estranged from everybody else. And the whole point of the picture is to show he's a family man, y'know, like, his kids actually like him? But there's the evidence in fact that there's some kind of problem. He wouldn't even go on the ski vacation with--I don't know.

JL: Let's dare to hope that everyone here will be at the show tomorrow.
JF: That's real George W. Bush slogan. 'Let's dare to hope.'
JL: That's right. That's true. I just made that up.
JF: That can be like his whole 2004 campaign slogan. 'Dare to Hope.'
JL: Who's the other rocker who became a--not that I'm a rocker. I don't mean to say that I'm a rocker.
JF: Or that George W. Bush is a rocker?

JL: This song is about a worm! It's a song...it's about a worm!
JF: What kind of worm, John?
JL: It's a song worm!
JF: What kind of song about a worm?
JL: A song about a song worm.

JF: Scream as if you're in hell! *screaming* No, no, that was just 'scream as if you're in Houston.'
6/20/88 New Orleans, LA

JL: Ladies and gentlemen, our most fearful nemesis--it's The Stick.
JF: Benevolent, but clinically insane. Omnipresent, yet alcoholic.

JF: Are you guys tripping, or what the fuck is wrong with you?

JF: Hey, we wanna hug you too, but we just don't have time.
JL: We may not ever have time, actually. Very busy.
JF: Very busy. We're busy hugging other strangers.

JL: How's it going? And when I say 'How's it going,' I'm not just testing out the microphone. I'm also seeing if my voice works.

JL: So here's a song we do, it's a very special song.
JF: It's a special song!
JL: Special song. John Flansburgh's gonna repeat stuff I'm saying.
JF: I'm gonna repeat stuff!
JL: He's gonna paraphrase stuff I'm saying.
JF: Say what he says!
JL: Kind of stuff like what I'm saying.
JF: What he said!
JL: A little bit the same but different.
JF: Same.
JL: Kind of the same, different words.
JF: Song.

JF: Some people are born into screaming, other people have screaming thrust upon them.

JF: There's a lot of rules in They Might Be Giants kids' shows. We're very consistent about that--we need you to follow the rules strictly. Cos this is not about fun. This is about rocking out. And as you get older, you'll know more about rock and rock is not about fun. It's about obeying very strict rules.
12/7/02 Chicago, IL